I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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