She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
