She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
