I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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