I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
