I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
