I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
