I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
