? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
