just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
