I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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