Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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