I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
