Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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