Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
