Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
soo... how was my night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
