Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
COCAINE IS GR8
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