she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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