I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
