He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
