capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
