let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
