i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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