Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
