he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
