More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
