Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
