i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
