Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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