is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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