i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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