two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
