carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
