Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
