We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
