There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so let's talk penis.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
