She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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