why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
should my penis look like a turkey
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
