I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
