what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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