we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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