Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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