in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
