So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
