Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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