Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
