First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
