you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
