he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
