the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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