I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
