Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
whose ass print is on the piano?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
