I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
