Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
