now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
