I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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